Recent Comments:
California lawmaker wants to outlaw spanking
ParentDish
Jan 21st 2007 1:41AM Many other parents are surprised when I tell them I`m a "spanker."
That is to say -- it has never been our primary discipline method, but we have done it, and we don`t regret the relatively few times we did it (I say "we," because my husband has also spanked the kids a few times, but since I spend more time with them, I have certainly done it more than he has). And I`m sure I spanked during the "terrible two`s," too, in situations involving danger.
So I oppose this law, because it will make criminals out of people exactly like me.
Have you ever forgotten your child?
ParentDish
Jan 8th 2007 6:38PM "I just can't imagine being so wrapped up in myself that I'd forget my child."
Well, some of us can.
Actually, this is a common reaction when I tell my own "I-once-forgot-my-baby" story.
Not that I didn`t blame myself entirely for fotgetting him, and would have died if anything had happened to him -- but why does the word "selfish" just keep cropping up?
Have you ever forgotten your child?
ParentDish
Jan 6th 2007 5:18PM Define "sane" people.
I was very sleep deprived, and probably suffering from undiagnosed PPD, when I forgot my infant son in a supermarket parking lot, back in 1995, in Los Angeles.
I loaded the groceries in the car and drove away, thinking I had put my son in the car already, but he was still in his infant carrier in the shopping cart.
I don`t remember exactly how far I got before I realized he wasn`t in the backseat, and panicked -- but I know I actually left the parking lot and drove away, because I remember waiting at a particular intersection on the way back, frantic with worry.
He was fine -- and no one called CPS on me, thank god.
Have you ever wanted not to be a parent anymore?
ParentDish
Jan 5th 2007 11:55PM When my oldest was a baby, I used to fantasized about abandoning him all the time -- always somewhere where people would find him right away, because I never, ever wanted any harm to come to him. I had similar thoughts about abandoning the next two babies, but they weren`t as intense, maybe because I expected them....ain`t those PPD hormones grand?
Power windows and little fingers
ParentDish
Dec 31st 2006 4:18AM A vintage computer fan is actually fretting about the cost of "another gadget?"
Heh.
Baby left in Toys R Us
ParentDish
Dec 21st 2006 12:28AM I did this.
When my oldest son was a few months old, I left him in a grocery store parking lot (in his car seat, in the shopping cart) and drove home -- I don`t remember how far I got before I realized there was no baby in the seat behind me, and panicked. All I remember is the panic.
Fortunately, he was okay -- and no one had called the cops on me.
Do smart kids become vegetarians more often just because they want to be healthy?
ParentDish
Dec 16th 2006 4:26PM Alas -- my kids are descended from a long line of stupid carnivores.
Epidurals may cause breastfeeding difficulties
ParentDish
Dec 13th 2006 6:36PM I don`t think we agree on "best interest of any child" here, Eva.
Do you really believe a woman should feel guilty for asking for a relatively small, regulated dose of a pain relief medicine from a licensed anesthesiologist, with the dose determined by years of clinical studies aimed at minimizing the baby`s exposure and harm? No one asks for a needle stuck in her spine for fun -- I can only assume that women who request epidurals do so because they feel they truly need them, and who am I to question what they feel they need? (By the way -- in my first and only labor, I didn`t request one until it was clear I would be having a c-section -- but just because I was able to endure my own pitocin-induced contractions doesn`t mean I would ever doubt another woman who said she couldn`t.)
Should a woman force herself to forego pain relief to the point where she is simply too exhausted to hold and feed her baby for hours -- even days -- afterward? I have Japanese friends who were denied epidurals (some hospitals there do offer them, but they`re not standard), and they told me they were so exhausted that they believed it interfered with their early bonding. Who am I, to doubt their stories?
Who`s to say which is worse for a baby, overall -- exposure to a controlled dose of a narcotic, or a mother recovering from what she considers to have been a horrible birth experience, which might have been very different with pain relief?
Whether a mother has a homebirth or one with lots of hospital intervention, guilt about her choices should never be a "byproduct." A new mother has much better things to think about!
Suspended art teacher moonlights as butt printing artist
ParentDish
Dec 13th 2006 5:05PM It`s a public school, isn`t it?
And he didn`t do anything illegal, did he?
Sounds like he`s got the full force of the law BEHIND him!
Epidurals may cause breastfeeding difficulties
ParentDish
Dec 13th 2006 11:00AM Let me put it another way, Eva: when it comes to breastfeeding, there are cetainly two or more people involved, but it is the mother calling the shots, NOT the baby(ies). There are many excellent reasons for a mother to stop breastfeeding that don`t mean she is "serving her own self interests verses those of her child." Breastfeeding is an option -- a really great option, that deserves support -- but not a responsibility.
I`m not sure I understand your assertion that I`m "backpedaling" and "arguing with science" in anything I`ve said --- and as for your judgemental blanket statement that, "by choosing to have an epidural a woman needs to understand and acknowledge that she IS putting her child at a disadvantage," someone, I think my children would have been at even more of a disadvantage if I`d had an "all natural" c-section, without one! Again, there are many excellent reasons to choose an epidural -- why lay the guilt trips on women who do?
This is what I don`t understand, and what makes me angry. Why do this?
The commenter above who sarcastically said, "God forbid a mother ever feel any guilt for the choices she makes," I want to ask, since when was guilt the best way to pressure someone to make a particular decision -- especially something as personal as a childbirth or breastfeeding decision?
If a woman decides she wants a homebirth and can do it, great! If a woman decides the pain is too much, and wants pain relief, also great -- that`s what it`s for! If there are complications, then an epidural can be a blessing.
If a woman wants to breastfeed, more power to her. But when she starts judging women who choose not to breastfeed, that`s when I speak up.
